


Broken Barriers

by Gremlinsatus



Series: Live a Life Worth Risking [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-09-02 08:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8659246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gremlinsatus/pseuds/Gremlinsatus
Summary: When you have been let down by the very ideals of love from a young age, it's hard to trust again. But what happens when you finally decide that someone might just be worth a few small risks?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so this is my first fic, please feel free to criticise constructively or suggest ideas you might like to see and apologies for any spelling or grammatical inaccuracies. Oh and I know, the summary sucks!

"Oh for god's sake!!" All Maria could think of doing was banging her head against her desk until the day became less reality and more bad dream which she could wake up from. It may take a while but nobody could say she didn't commit to a task.  
"How can people get something so easy so damn wrong?! Do we not bother with training any more?"  
So far her day was turning from a shit-storm into a cluster-fuck with no chance of sunshine or meatballs.  
"Get Coulson on the phone and ask him why the hell the specialists he has sent so far have been anything but special?"  
Maria currently had three missions running off the heli-carrier that she wasn't supposed to even be on. She was supposed to have been back in DC two weeks ago and on forced annual leave this week.  
'Well,' she thought to herself smugly, 'it would serve Nick right for trying to force it on her. She was an adult who was perfectly capable of judging when to take a rest.'  
The current problem was on the retrieval mission from an old temple in central Thailand that was currently beset by wannabe Indiana Jones or Lara Crofts, and her agents kept getting themselves caught for some bizarre reason, meaning she had a shit ton of diplomatic back scratching to do to make things ok with the authorities there.  
Yesterday had been a straw breaking camels back day when another specialist in China came back via a med-evac and added to the rising medical costs of the week. Maria had decided that enough was enough and she deserved to use some proper professionals even if they weren't top priority missions. So she had sent for the Black Widow and Romanoff had already delivered on her mission, adding to Maria's professional respect for her. Fury had been livid though, insisting he had better things for her to do. 

If she had been more even tempered and generous at the time, Maria probably would have admitted to Fury that circumstances kept working against them and the latest injury had been plain bad luck, getting hit by a psycho motorcyclist. However, Maria was feeling anything but generous at the moment and was ready to explode if she couldn't release her frustrations on something other than a punch bag! 

Just as Maria gave into the temptation to let her head thud onto the desk in frustration, somebody knocked on her office door and promptly walked in.  
"You know the point of knocking is to give the other person a chance to refuse entrance?"  
"Sorry but no, the point of knocking is to be fair and warn someone you are going to enter the room. Would you rather I didn't knock at all?"  
"Romanoff, stop being pedantic, sit down and tell me only positive things!"  
"Oh boy, somebody is in a bad mood! I was warned but I have not seen you like this in ...wait... Ah a whole month! You a bit frustrated up here Sugar?"  
"Firstly ha bloody ha! A flying invisible monster filled with people who are scared of you isn't the best pick up place if that is what you are suggesting and secondly, fuck off."  
"I'm not scared of you, Hill."  
"Really?? Are you volunteering for something Romanoff? Neither of us are talking about sparring." Maria smirked, sure she could handle the mocking from Romanoff and get her own back later.  
"Aren't you supposed to be 'debriefing' me?"  
Maria had to laugh a little at the suggestion in her tone and the blatant invitation. Another verbal hit from the woman who was as good with her words as her body. Unfortunately, Maria couldn't help but think briefly whether she would as good in bed as in the field.  
"Romanoff, you never need to be debriefed, you are always ready." Maria let the inference sink in before smirking again and turning back to the screen in front of her.  
"Just tell me what went wrong that you fixed so I know how to give toilet duties to and get out of my office."  
"Aye aye captain," muttered Romanoff before sitting back in the chair and telling Maria about how overconfident strike team Charlie had been.

\-------------------  
Maria wasn't entirely convinced that she hadn't lost her mind in the last two hours as she stood outside the room assigned to Romanoff. She thought back to her conversation the day before with Fury who had told her in no uncertain terms to 'calm the hell down and make getting laid a priority' when she got back on the ground. Fury seemed to think that Marianwas overreacting to the whole 'being stuck in the air' situation and her mood was making matters worse by scaring agents into mistakes.

Nick would go mad if he realised I was taking his instructions too heart a little prematurely, and with his golden child! Maria smiled to herself as she committed to the deed and got her security card out of her pocket. God it was fun having access to everything, now time for a childish bit of revenge on Romanoff.

Maria held the card next to the scanner and knocked on the door at the same time as scanning it, allowing her to open the door and walk straight in on Romanoff.  
"And this is the reason why knocks are to give people time to say yes or no!"  
Maria had walked into the room to find Romanoff in a state of undress with workout clothes in her hand.  
"If you had given me the chance to say 'Enter' earlier, I would have waited for you to open the door."  
"Why, Commander Hill, are you embarrassed? You know I would have seen who it was and opened the door like this anyway..."  
Maria was having a slightly tricky time not looking down past Romanoff's chin and so didn't bother to reply to the statement, which she knew was true anyway.  
"I presume you are here to continue our 'debriefing' from earlier in a more private setting?"  
Maria was still struggling a little to not look and was ever so slightly annoyed that nothing ever seemed to phase Romanoff. It was time to get control of the situation again and make sure this one off thing was on her terms not her agent's.  
"Well? Are you going to just stand there Romanoff or are you going to invite me in?"  
Romanoff smirked and took a few steps back to allow Maria 'In' to her little box.  
"Ground rules: this is a one off thing which in no way entitles you to any special favours or behaviour from me."  
"Hmmm, Hill, you sure know how to romance a girl..." Romanoff said in a low voice whilst walking towards Maria. She had reached her and was reaching up to grab her hair when Maria pulled her head back out of reach.  
"Rule two:no kissing. Kissing presumes a personal relationship which we don't have."  
"Just kissing your lips or no kissing at all? That could get rather boring Hill."  
"Just on the lips you idiot. You had better not be as uninventive as you are suggesting here!"  
"Aye aye captain" Romanoff repeated her comment from earlier in a slightly more seductive voice before reaching up to suck on the pulse point in Maria's neck.

\----------------------

The Triskellion was always busy enough to keep Maria entertained and truly felt like home, far more so than the heli-carrier which everybody assumed was her 'baby'. In truth, Maria hated being up there but was always the one who got sent up there when they needed a bit more oversight, mainly because Nicholas Fury, the great spy, was a baby and scared of the thing he insisted was unnatural and not supposed to be able to fly. Never mind it was his idea in the first place. 

Maria's office in the Triskellion was far more familiar to her and felt more like home than her own apartment, granted she probably spent more time in the office. It explained why she was so easily irritated by people just walking into this room as if it was a public place. Something most agents, and even Fury, knew not to do. Apparently not Romanoff though who considered it her new mission to irritate Maria today.  
"You're avoiding me. That's immature, Hill."  
Maria wanted to remind Romanoff that she could be as immature as she wanted as she had the rank to do it but that would mean admitting that she had been avoiding her.  
"I would like to point out that I am very busy and not exactly a lot of time to socialise in the canteen as you seem to spend most of your time here doing. Also, I haven't needed you for anything so why would I speak to you?"  
In truth, Maria had a lot of respect for Romanoff and would say she was the closest thing to a female friend she had in SHIELD but they were still a very long way off an actual friendship. 

Romanoff started to answer but stopped short and paused for a few seconds.  
"Can we talk?  
Maria looked at her when she said that and saw a slight vulnerability to the spy that she had never noticed before.  
"God, you look like we are about to break up or you are pregnant?"  
Romanoff stayed silent and wouldn't meet her eye.  
"Seriously, neither of those are remotely possible so what has you so freaked out?"  
Again Romanoff stayed silent but this time she did meet Maria's gaze and she was sure she saw a bit of hurt in the assassin's expression. Before Maria could say anything, Romanoff spun on her heel and walked out. As she left, Maria remembered that any mention of having kids around Romanoff was a no-go area.   
'Ah well, she'll get over it', thought Maria as she went back to reading the report on her screen. 

After a long and weird day in her office, Maria decided she would go for a drink and maybe find a willing body to have fun with. She didn't feel like going back to an empty apartment and felt slightly guilty about her remarks to Romanoff earlier in the day. There were always a variety of places to go out in DC but the closest to the Triskellion was a bit of a dive, albeit the perfect place to pick up an easy date. Maria briefly wondered when she had become so casual about it and decided instantly that she was thinking far too much and should go with the first place to get laid. 

Granted, this bar was right opposite the Triskellion and often had more than a couple of SHIELD agents within, but everybody knew to stay clear of Commander Hill when outside of work or face a very creative and painful revenge. The current parking lot attendants in the SHIELD underground facility on base where actually two specialists that had tried to play Wingman with Maria the last time she went to this bar. 

That reminded her to put a stop to their duties as they still had specialists recovering from injuries caused during the disastrous helicarrier time. Thankfully Fury hadn't questionned her orders for the two agents nor where they were when she asked for Romanoff. 

Maria had just got into the bar and ordered a gin and tonic when she spotted a head of hair in a very familiar shade of red. Shit, she thought, maybe I can just down the drink and get out of here before she notices me?   
Maria laughed to herself as she tried to finish her drink and Romanoff spotted her before she even got the glass to her lips. As if she would have gotten out of the room before the best spy in her arsenal had observed everything. 

"I didn't think you would be here tonight."  
"Did I need your permission agent Romanoff?"   
"You didn't seem to want company earlier so I assumed you had a quiet evening at home planned."  
Maria could have quite easily pulled her rank card and threatened the agent with replacing the two agents in the car park but she knew that it was the only person it would never work on. The red head had an infuriating habit of just ignoring what Maria said and if she tried to call her up on it, Romanoff just went running to Fury who sided with her every time. 

"For gods sake Hill! Can we stop this messing around. You are in here to score an easy fuck and I came to your office earlier to say that I would be open to repeating our no strings attached fuck-buddy thing we had going."  
"What makes you think I want an encore of that performance?"  
"Oh come off it! I'm the best lay you have ever had! Plus why would you want to find someone in here by creating a new identity and all the shit that goes with it rather just to play bedroom ninja and do the walk of shame after an hour?"  
Maria jumped slightly when she realised how close Romanoff was sitting to her and how far up her thigh her hand had gone.  
"As if you don't want a repeat! You can't keep your eyes off my tits!"  
Romanoff was right, Maria had lost herself in remembering the feel of those huge tits in her hands and how she moaned when Maria started tongue fucking her. There was little argument from her body or the throbbing between her legs, just a bit of a grumble from her brain which soon gave in.  
"Ok but we are going to your place as I know it's closer and I can get a taxi home afterwards."


	2. Chapter 2

The last two weeks had gone rather smoothly for Maria and she was as chirpy as she had ever been, although not noticeably so to agents around the Triskellion. She would never admit to anyone, no matter what creative torture they came up with, that her bonhomie was mostly down to regular sessions of spectacular sex with Romanoff. They had really committed to the term 'fuck buddies' and were spending an impressive amount of time in each other's apartments, never staying over though. 

Maria was enjoying herself so much that she almost felt bad for sending Romanoff out on a mission two days ago. This wasn't out of guilt or concern, just that she selfishly missed the sex. 'Ok', Maria muttered to herself, 'maybe just maybe I miss her company a little'. They often had brief conversations before and after messing around and Romanoff was absolutely hilarious at times with the one liners she came out with during sex. 'It is not going to be a long week!', she muttered outloud, not sure who she was trying to convince. 

She was very wrong about the length of the week though, she thought to herself a few days later. Realistically, it had still been about 168 hours in the week but it had felt like at least double that. It had started so positively, Maria had been in such a good mood that the universe obviously decided to remind her what would happen when she let her good temper out of the cage. The mission in Budapest should have been easy and Barton and Romanoff were more than capable of pulling it off but something had gone terribly wrong and Maria had to remind herself that her concern for Barton's well being was just as important as Romanoff. In actual fact, as she had forcibly told herself, she had every right to be concerned when a senior agent had been brutally beaten and shot multiple times, because of a serious shit show from headquarters. Nobody had expected some wannabe but still dangerous version of the Red Room to show up but she wanted to know why there was no intel on it. Why was intelligence so hard to come by in an intelligence agency?!

Somehow, these Red Room scunners had managed to best her top two agents and Fury was living up to his name. Barton was out of action for at least three months and was in some hideaway that Fury had sent him to, poor sod! Thankfully Romanoff was a fast healer so she should be fully fit within three weeks, no matter the damage. 

Maria was still trying to work out how they could have been blindsided so easily and by who?! She didn't believe that this was a revenge mission from the Red Room as her level nine handlers kept suggesting. Something was wrong with this situation and she would get to the bottom of it. Maria had tried talking to Fury several times about getting another person to help her as she was so surrounded by missions and paperwork that she was never able to go into the details anymore. That was her talent and why she had come up to this rank. This wasn't about pride, well not too much anyway, but matters of international security. The handlers all needed to be on the top of their game and as good as herself but some of them were so lacking that it was scary. 

Maria made her way to the med bay trying to figure out how to put this whole mess into a positive result and get some decent handlers for the missions. In reality, she was trying to distract herself from the fact that she was hurrying to the med bay to see if Romanoff was even conscious and sane as she hated the medical centre with a passion.

Her step faltered as she took in the sight of Natasha - Romanoff damnit!! - looking like one giant bruise and bandage. She was fast asleep, something Maria had never witnessed before, but it didn't last long.

Romanoff opened her eyes slowly and looked straight at Maria, as if she knew she had been there all along. Maria wouldn't have been surprised if Romanoff had some kind of sixth sense even when asleep. She looked like she was about to say something when the nurse walked in and glared at Maria instantly. She spent a few minutes looking over Romanoff's vital signs while Maria stood to the side feeling awkward. This continued for a few minutes longer than necessary, in Maria's vast medical experience. She almost snorted sarcastically out loud as she thought how often she had avoided this place when in need of medical attention. She wouldn't know the first thing about nursing, first aid was a different matter though. Maria liked to thing that she would be an excellent medic as she had diagnosed and treated herself often enough from a very young age. The nurse had finally left and Maria realised she had zoned out. Romanoff was looking at her with a questioning expression in her eyes.  
"I'm going to need your report as soon as possible so we can figure out exactly what happened. Barton is not going to be in any shape to help with this for a while so you need to be as detailed as possible."  
The nurse walked back in at that moment and glared at Maria with a considerably nasty threat not very subtly hidden in the look. "Do you think you might be able to wait until she is able to stay awake for more than ten minutes and can actually hold a pen or sit up straight enough to type, 'Commander Hill'."  
The nurse, Maria took the time to very obviously glance at her name tag before replying, was just standing there with her hands on her hips looking like she was ready for a fight.  
"Well, 'Nurse Ford' I do not need to explain anything to you but I am simply here to ask Romanoff to do it as soon as she feels well enough. Now, if you would leave us please, we need to discuss something that is considerably above your clearance level." The nurse looked affronted and stomped out and Maria turned back to Romanoff, confident that she had put the uppity woman back in her place.  
"I have no idea what they wash the uniforms in but as soon as a perfectly nice person puts on those clothes, they become Madame Trunchbull!"  
Maria had no idea if Romanoff was familiar with Matilda or not but she didn't bother explaining any further. "How is Clint?"  
"He is ok. Alive. Though it will take him a while to get back to normal, he will recover completely."  
Romanoff stayed silent after that and Maria was taken aback by the sheer vulnerability in the Russian's eyes as she looked up at her. The look didn't stay for very long though as it was replaced by a blank expression that Maria was infinitely more familiar with. This was a method she had ordered Romanoff to teach her as soon as she realised that she had a superior style of pain management. The problem was that this expression usually disappeared after a few seconds. It had lasted for at least a minute this time and didn't look like it was going to be replaced any time soon.

Maria turned to find the nurse before remembering that no pain medication they had in the med bay ever worked on Romanoff and they had got sidetracked by something when she had tasked the sci-division to find something that would help the agent. Maria cursed herself as she turned back to Romanoff, vowing to not let objectives like that get pushed to the back burner again.  
"Romanoff. Natasha! Look at me!"  
Romanoff looked up and the blank expression gave way to one of immense pain and Maria was sure she could see a tear hiding, trying desperately to escape her right eye.  
"Ok, you can do this, you know how to. Find the rhythm of the pain and then breathe to it. I know it's a lot of pain but it's not unmanageable. Nothing is. You told me that yourself."  
Romanoff's expression went back to the unnerving blank face and after another seemingly never ending time, she finally got her pain under control and looked away from Maria, as if embarrassed.  
"You have nothing to be ashamed of. I don't know anyone that could have taken this amount of damage and be conscious without drugs right now. I am going to get some of the so called Hot shot scientists we have to look at this problem again though."  
"No need, I'm alright now. I just need to get some sleep."  
Maria nodded and took this as a request to leave her so she simply turned on her heel and left the room. She did risk a look back through the window though and noticed Romanoff had already closed her eyes. She headed back to her office feeling rather unnerved by the whole situation.

Maria made a point of forcing herself, no matter how unnerved, to walk past the window again before she left for the night. Romanoff was still asleep. She left wondering why she was feeling a need to check up on the woman. They didn't have anything past a physical relationship, though she wondered if it might be slowly turning into an understanding of each other if not a friendship. Just the thought gave here goosebumps but she couldn't figure out why.  
'I have friends. Plenty of them in fact. Ok none of them are close friends but that's not what this is. I'm not about to make her my BFF for god's sake!'  
Maria suddenly stopped that train of thought as she wasn't entirely sure she hadn't been talking outloud. Standing next to her car and talking to herself in the middle of the underground parking facility at the Triskellion wasn't exactly the best way to maintain the confidence of her subordinates. 

Maria slept fitfully that night and woke up still feeling out of sorts. She was determined to not let the situation, whatever the hell it was, get the better of her and got ready with a view to embracing a friendship with Romanoff of a similar style to her friendship with Coulson. Nip it in the bud and she wouldn't have any issues at all. And it might be nice to actually have female friend. 

As she arrived in the Triskellion, Maria decided to take the long route past her office and walk past the medbay, feeling like it was unnecessary to go in - no she wasn't wimping out of her friendship resolution. Again Maria had to stop and actually wonder to herself if she had said that last bit outloud. She was going to have to give her imaginary companion a name if she kept talking to them like this. 'Hmmmm, Bradley. No, too hip. I shall name you Albert and you will be my Sensible Older Chap to talk to when I get even crazier than I am right now!'

As she walked past the window to Romanoff's room, she saw that the agent was sitting up in bed and eating breakfast. That was a good sign. It meant that she had better use of her arms again or she had worked out how to completely ignore the pain her ribs must be causing her. 

Romanoff looked up and saw Maria at the window. She looked straight into her eyes and gave her a soft smile, something Maria had never seen before on the Russian and never had directed at herself either. She was unsure that she could smile without it coming out as a smirk and settled on a serious nod to acknowledge her. Romanoff seemed to understand what she was trying to convey and got on with eating the rest of her breakfast.

Maria had meant to go and check on Romanoff again around lunch time but never got the chance as she was throughly engrossed in reading through the conflicting reports that Fury had already managed to collect off the desk based staff involved in the Fuck Up as it was now known to both of them.

It was very clear already that Fury was bothered about it as he had deigned to involve himself in simple matters such as report collecting but it was clear from the first report Maria read that they were both right to be concerned. Maria wasn't sure if it was a simple case of trying to protect your friend or complete idiocy that was responsible for the reports of two of Sitwell's staff but it was clear from the analysts that they had a problem with the level nine agent. 

Maria had always been doubtful of Sitwell and his ability to outperform anyone including himself but he had been in the position since before Maria had been promoted over him and she hadn't been handed the opportunity to do something about it until now. The problem was going to be replacing him as no one else looked like they had half the brains and common sense of a moth apart from May who had sworn off any field work involvement.

The main issues seemed to be that the analysts were insisting that Sitwell had been made aware of the presence of this 'Winter Soldier' and Red Room Wannabes but chose to not pass on the information to either agent in the field. What made it a hundred times worse is that there appeared to be no plan B or even an exit plan for some unfathomable reason! 

This indicated two possibilities to Maria and both were not pleasant. Either she had let someone who was dangerously incompetent remain in their position for far too long or he was deceitful and negligent to the extreme and willing to sacrifice two of their best specialists. Neither possibility was one that Maria was proud of. She had let one of those situations develop and was lucky that they weren't paying for it in more than a financial way.

Deciding that no action could be taken anyway until Romanoff, Barton and Sitwell himself had handed in their reports, Maria consoled herself with the fact that she had already given Sitwell a temporary desk job pending the result of the inquiry. He wouldn't be doing more than filling in requests and purchase orders for a while now. 

With all the reports read, Maria decided it was finally time to visit the medical centre again and maybe see if Romanoff wanted some half shitty canteen food instead of whole shitty medical food. When she arrived though, she got a bit of a shock to see that the bed was empty and the staff were milling about looking far too relaxed. 

Maria didn't bother to ask any questions, just walked over to the chart on the table and read something that made her blood boil.  
"You bloody idiots!"  
The staff turned to stare at her in shock, either due to what she had said or the fact that she was even daring to step inside their domain. This territorial, 'I'm not answerable to you' nonsense had to stop and now!  
"Do you all remember the never ending lessons and tests I gave you when you started and when I took over from Fury? They were full of protocols that protected people, quite an important thing for you guys I would think!"  
Nobody dared to speak.  
"Can someone explain to me why nobody bothered to check with a level 9 agent or even myself before letting Romanoff go home with Agent Coulson who is currently not even in the country?!"  
Maria didn't even give them a chance to answer this question before continuing.  
"I swear to god, this entire department is going to learn that if I tell you something, you damn well do as I say and that includes any protocols that I HAVE WRITTEN!"  
All of the medical staff present had the grace to look guilty and stare at the floor and Maria stormed out of the area with the hope that finally that problem of respect and collaboration might just have been solved. She was also a bit peeved at Romanoff but reminded herself that she lasted a full 8 hours longer than any previous attempt in the medical centre.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the length of time between chapters guys but Christmas and New Year were plain bananas!

Maria got back to her apartment and parked in the garage, slowly making her way up to her flat on the top floor. She liked to have the top floor as walking up and down the 15 flights of stairs was the only guaranteed form of exercise Maria could get during the day but for some reason she didn't feel like sprinting it as she usually did. 

'She's probably just gone home Albert and I shouldn't be worried about her at all. But what do I do? If I call her I might wake her up if she is sleeping and give her ideas that I am worried about her. And if I don't then that would make me a bad friend, right? God I hate trying to figure out proper social behaviour with people!!'  
Maria came to the conclusion once again, without Albert's help this time, that ringing Romanoff when she got into her apartment wouldn't be a bad idea and might help with the whole friendship situation. Coulson rang her when she was off work, the whole one day of it in the last 6 years. 

Even though Maria was walking quite slowly up the stairs, being so distracted by her thoughts, she almost didn't realise she had reached her front door and almost didn't spot the signs that someone had tried to force entry into her apartment. The door handle had a small notch on it and Maria always lined it up to a certain degree so that she could see if someone had tried the handle to get in. There would be no other reason to be on this floor, Maria having the penthouse, so anyone up here would be up to no good. 

Maria took out her right side gun before taking a deep breath and unlocking the door slowly as she exhaled. The door swung silently open and Maria immediately moved to her left to take a look around the hallway of her apartment. She instantly relaxed though as she spotted the bedroom light on and put both twos together to make a neat four; the only person capable of breaking into her apartment but cocky enough to leave the lights on would be Romanoff. That would also be the only other person to have the audacity to go into her bedroom, somewhere not seen by anyone other than Romanoff in a very long time. 

Maria walked over to the bedroom door and was about to storm in and ask why the hell she had appeared over here unannounced and broken in but she stopped short when the sight of Romanoff in her bedroom hit her brain cells. 

Romanoff was sitting up in the bed against the headboard and fast asleep with her head slowly flopping forwards and then jerking back again once her chin nearly reached her chest. It didn't look like a comfortable sleeping position but the fact that she was actually asleep at all and was obviously in no way capable of looking after herself softened Maria considerably. Maria wasn't quite sure what to think about the fact that Romanoff had lied to the nurses to escape the Medbay but obviously realised she couldn't be alone and was comfortable in Maria's apartment. 

As had happened previously in the Triskelion, Romanoff had a sixth sense as to Maria's presence and woke up slowly before looking up at Maria with an intense vulnerability that had Maria take a step backwards in shock.  
"What are you doing here?" It came out more harshly than Maria had intended but she still wasn't quite feeling completely stable just yet. Maria countered the harsh tone by moving to sit next to Romanoff on the side of the bed and laying a hand on her leg, without thinking about it for a second.  
"I'm sorry about breaking in but I really didn't want to be alone and I wasn't sure what time you were getting back from the office."  
"No, that's not what I meant. It's ok that you are here but why aren't you in the Medbay still? Why did you discharge yourself and lie to the nurses?"  
Maria knew what the answer was before Romanoff even opened her mouth and she wasn't entirely sure why she had asked such an obvious question.  
"You know me, Hill." The answer was said in such a tone that Maria believed for a second that she really did know the other agent, completely confident in her understanding of the Russian. That thought quickly left her head though as Romanoff finished her explanation.  
"You know I can't stand that place. Not since I first started with SHIELD. They wouldn't let me leave until I told them who I was staying with."  
"You're lucky they couldn't follow a neon arrow let alone the rules considering you are currently staying with someone who is in Cambodia and they would have realised that if they had bothered to check."  
Too late Maria realised that Romanoff had taken this as criticism for picking a useless lie and was slowly trying to get off the bed. Maria moved to immediately push her back against the headboard very gently.  
"They were right though, there is no way you are fit enough to be by yourself so thank you for trusting me to come here. You're going to stay for at least a few days though and I will pull a few sickies to stay home and make sure you are ok." Maria didn't realise what she was saying until it was already out of her mouth and the offer/order couldn't be rescinded. She was slightly surprised at herself to quickly realise that she didn't want to take it back though. It was the right thing to do. Romanoff just looked up at her in surprise then closed her eyes and smiled softly. Maria took that as a good opportunity to leave the room and give each other a bit of space, not really knowing what had just happened. She mentioned to the now very nearly asleep again Russian that she would make some dinner and bring it in. 

Not that much later, after a simple and easy to eat dinner of pasta shells and tomato sauce on the bed, Maria took the plates away and asked if Romanoff needed help to lie down so she could get a better rest. Roman nodded slowly and twisted her face in a grimace as she put her arms beside her to lower herself onto fully onto the bed while Maria pulled the duvet out from under her so she could get in the bed if she wanted. 

Once she looked remotely comfortable, Maria picked up the plates and made to leave the room. She got as far as the door before a very soft and fragile voice asked if she could come back in the room again soon.  
"I'm not very good at being by myself right now. I'm sorry to be a nuisance though, it's ok if you don't want to."  
Maria swallowed thickly, a bit unnerved seeing the usually confident and strong agent looking so defenceless.  
"I'll just clear up and then I will be back in. Ten minutes, no more. 

Exactly ten minutes later, Maria walked slowly back into the room. She had spent the ten minutes in the kitchen cleaning the plates more than entirely necessary in an attempt to stop her brain overanalysing everything that was going on. This was an unusual situation and that meant that whatever happened here would be undoubtedly out of the ordinary. The simple fact that Romanoff was hurt this badly was unusual so Maria would never have seen her so fragile and needy before this anyway, no matter what the state of the friendship was. 

Once in the bedroom, Maria went straight to the wardrobe, pulling out some old t-shirts and boxer shorts that she wore in bed on the helicarrier. At home she liked to sleep in the nude as it was far more comfortable considering how fitfully she slept and tossed and turned. On the helicarrier, someone could, in theory, walk into her quarters at any time if there was an emergency and so she wouldn't dream of sleeping in her birthday suit there. There was also no way in hell that she was sleeping naked in the bed with an injured Romanoff so she quickly turned her back and changed into one set of pjs. 

Maria handed the other set of t-shirt and boxers to Romanoff and then took them off her again immediately to help her put them on. Romanoff stayed eerily silent all the way through this exchange, just wincing and sucking in a breath every now and then. Maria was shocked to see just how many bruises and cuts the poor woman was covered in. How had these not healed already?  
"My healing ability seem to be on a priority basis. You have been lucky and not seen me after a GSW or a stab wound as I stay covered in bruises for weeks and weeks so that my body can focus on healing the serious things first."  
"That's weird. And also very useful to know. Remember to update the doctors on this as it would be very useful information I imagine."  
"Useful and also completely useless to me. It irritates the hell out of me that i can only heal one thing at a time. This might take a week or so longer than people are predicting for me to be back in the field, though I hate to admit it."  
Again, Maria is absolutely gobsmacked at the open honesty pouring out from Romanoff. There is no way she would ever admit to not being one hundred percent and giving up on the chance of a mission!

Romanoff had now changed completely into the nightwear and Maria was having a hard time tearing her eyes away from her sudden bed partner. Even bruised and battered to hell, she was absolutely stunning and Maria wasn't looking forwards to spending the entire night beside her but not able to touch her. 

Maria got into bed and pulled the duvet up over both of them, trying to put the thought of sharing a bed all night with someone out of her head. All of a sudden she wasn't worried about not touching or playing with Romanoff but more concerned about not having a rare panic attack in the middle of the night and just bolting onto the sofa. She wasn't entirely sure why she hadn't already done it to be honest. 

Romanoff was having an equally hard time settling down but for very different reasons. She shifted a few times before eventually finding a comfortable position on her back next to Maria and then shocked Maria completely by taking her hand holding it against her stomach. All of this was done with her eyes closed so thankfully she wasn't able to see Maria's expression of incredulity at the closeness of the two and how she was struggling to control her breathing.  
"I'm really sorry. I've literally only just realised that I've commandeered half of your bed and you probably wouldn't want to be sleeping next to me. I can move to the couch if you would prefer." Romanoff must have heard her shallow breathing but at no point did she open her eyes or let go of Maria's hand.  
"It's absolutely fine. I am fine here and could easily go onto the couch myself if you start to feel uncomfortable. For now, just try and sleep honey."  
Maria finished the sentence and froze, realising what she had said. Before taking it back though, she leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to Romanoff's hair and then laid on her back as well, trying desperately to stop the crazy runaway train that was her thoughts.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for taking so long to update this, my laptop has stopped working and I couldn't face retyping stuff that had already been done so I had to wait to fix it.

The following morning Maria woke before Romanoff and glanced over to see if the Russian would wake up automatically, with her bizarre sleeping spidey sense. Romanoff stayed asleep and Maria suddenly began to struggle to stay still, as if now she knew she shouldn't wake the other person up, that was all she thought she was capable of doing. 

The situation was made more difficult when Maria realised just how intertwined they had become overnight. Ok so it was only one leg of Maria's over Romanoff's and Romanoff's hand clutching at her own, but that was still the closest Maria had ever been to someone whilst asleep. 

Romanoff started to stir, as if she sensed how uncomfortable Maria suddenly was with the closeness, and slowly opened her eyes, a soft smile spreading across her face whilst doing so. Just as Maria started to appreciate the smile and the peace behind it, it was replaced with that horrible blank expression once more. In a similar fashion to the Med-Bay, the expression didn't give way after a few seconds and Maria realised she had probably better intervene again.  
"Talk to me, Romanoff. Tell me where it hurts the most."  
Romanoff stayed silent for a few more seconds and then Maria noticed tears gathering in her eyes and slowly dripping down her face.  
"Bullet wound, ribs, shoulder. In that order"  
Maria sucked in a breath and squeezed Romanoff's hand that little bit tighter. She hadn't even known about anything but the ribs and GSW.  
"Shoulder?"  
"Dislocated. I put it back myself before getting shot. Think that's probably what allowed him to get the shot in."  
Again, Maria sucked in a harsh breath. It was getting difficult to think what to actually say in this discussion.  
"So the Medical team don't know anything about it? I read your notes and it wasn't on there."  
"No reason to mention it. It pops out regularly."  
"Shitting hell Romanoff! That's exactly why to mention it. It needs to be properly fixed!"  
"No need to get your knickers in a twist, if i leave it long enough, it heals itself usually."  
Maria had noticed that the tears had stopped and the blank expression was fading. Apparently shocking the hell out of her superior and current bed partner worked as an excellent distraction for Romanoff.  
"Right, that completely settles it now. I'm not going in at all today. You are staying in that bed and gives your entire mass of cuts, bruises and breaks a chance to heal by not moving an inch and this will continue until at least the end of this week."  
"But -"  
"Nope, the medical team don't seem to be able to actually take care of you professionally at all, I don't believe you will stay still long enough to actually heal if left to your own devices and I can work from home this week. That settles it."  
Romanoff looked shocked for a second then a confused expressed came across her face.  
"I didn't realise you actually cared for me that much Hill?"  
Maria could see that Romanoff hadn't meant it in a condescending or smug way, she was genuinely shocked herself but it automatically put Maria on the defensive as she hadn't realised she cared that much either.  
"Don't flatter yourself, Romanoff. You work for me and I want you to be useful again soon so this makes me a good boss, nothing more."  
The blank look returned to Romanoff's face and she started to try to sit up. Maria caught her eye and was astonished to see the resignation and hurt bleeding out of her as clear as day. The expression that was usually so guarded and hard to read was a lot clearer recently.  
Maria realised that this was possibly the best opportunity to let her own defences down slightly as they would still be a million times stronger than Romanoff's apparently non-existent defences were at present.  
"Sit back in bed. You aren't going anywhere and that came out more harshly than I had intended."  
Romanoff laid back once more and stared at Maria until she couldn't take any more of it and looked away.  
"Is that your version of an apology? You aren't great at them, you know."  
Maria snorted derisively at the comment, fully aware of her own in ability to apologise properly, it was something she had been overly good at when younger and refused to be good at as an adult.  
"Yes, I know. Listen to me. This doesn't make us partners, or friends or girlfriends or anything of the sort. But I will admit that you are more important to me than the other agents and I kinda like what we had so I don't want you to be hurt."  
She looked away, knowing full well that had been the longest and most honest thing she had said to anybody in a very long time. Probably since leaving the Marines.  
"It's still a professional part of me but also a slightly personal part of me as well that's willing to do this."  
Romanoff stayed quiet for a few moments, probably in shock herself at hearing so much from Maria.  
"Wow, even when you open up, you're cagier than I am. No wonder we get along so well!"  
Maria was grateful for the brief respite from the serious conversation and smiled at the thinly veiled compliment. She laid back on the bed and closed her eyes, just realising then that throughout the entire conversation, she had never let go of Romanoff's hand. 

The peace and quiet didn't last for long though as Romanoff seemed unable to leave it at that.  
"Can you answer me one question, Hill?"  
Maria looked sideways at Romanoff's face, unsure what the question could possibly be that would make that request so terrifying.  
Romanoff didn't give her much of a chance before simply continuing and assuming that no answer meant 'yes'.  
"Why did you come to me at all?"  
Maria knew immediately that the question was about the first night, on the Heli-Carrier. She laid still for a few moments, asking herself how honest she could be again with the Russian, before moving to lay on her side and face Romanoff.  
"First of all, you caught me when I had already been on the Heli-Carrier non stop for two months and it was not an enjoyable time up there. Everything was going wrong - hence the request for your assistance. I should have been back in DC two weeks before that point and I will admit that I was testy -"  
Romanoff snorted and then sucked in a breath in pain, "Testy?!"  
Maria glared at her for interrupting and for the derision.  
"Hill, I even got warned before getting on the transport about your mood by SIX different agents!"  
"Ok, so you know everything! Why bother asking me if you don't want to hear the answer!" Maria did not like the fact that people had been talking about her and apparently not in a particularly respectful way.  
"Please carry on. I'm sorry to interrupt. All I meant was that your bad mood was evident to a lot of people for a long time."  
"Well, whatever. Someone went to Fury and he called me and told me to calm the hell down and get laid as soon as I set foot on solid ground again."  
Maria looked away at that, slightly embarrassed that Fury had known her well enough to know what would calm her down.  
"And then, well, you walked in and practically offered yourself on a plate and I haven't really wanted to get off that ride since."

They both stayed silent for a while, Maria trying to figure out if she had somehow upset the agent or if she hadn't been sincere enough in her answer to really give the Russian what she wanted to know.  
"Ok, so time for me to be honest as well, Hill."  
Maria looked over and saw that Romanoff was looking in completely the wrong direction and started to prepare for a painful revelation.  
"It was actually me that called Fury and told him to talk to you."  
Not believing what she was hearing, Maria started to protest but Romanoff cut her off quickly.  
"No, please just listen a second. I was worried about you and thought that it was too much and too long a time on the flying monster. I had hoped Fury would be a proper boss for a change and go up there himself to relieve you. Instead he told me it was probably hormones or lack of sex, kinda the reason why I 'offered myself up on a plate'."  
Maria wasn't sure how to react to that revelation. Numerous thoughts were whirring around inside; pissiness at the fact that Romanoff had the audacity to rat her out; gratitude that she cared enough to try to help; fury at Fury for his chauvanistic response. 

Realising that fury at Fury was winning, Maria sat up abruptly and got out of bed, wanting to hunt down her boss immediately.  
"Calm down Maria! I don't think he wanted to put me on edge before going up there or didn't trust me enough to tell me what was really going on. You know he trusts you above all else and wouldn't dream of being serious with that kind of answer!"  
Maria stared back at the woman in her bed trying to placate her.  
"No, you're right. As much of an asshole as Nick actually is, he isn't sexist or patronising in that way. He was probably playing both of us."

She sat down on the bed abruptly, causing Romanoff to wince slightly as it made her move suddenly. Maria knew exactly what Fury had done, not wanting Romanoff to have any reason to doubt what she would be asked to do and not let Maria seem incapable. She didn't need to tell the other agent that though, it would put a bit too much pressure on her to speed up her recovery if she realised just how much stock both herself and Fury put in the Russian as an agent and her professional judgement.

Deciding to change the subject and get the hell away from anything more personal, Maria decided it was time to get to work, albeit from home.  



End file.
